Vince Ratti met Rachel Minton at summer camp in 2000. Vince was the 2-1 favorite in the potato sack races and Rachel had made a name for herself as the braces and head-gear wearing champion of the "who can swing the highest on the tire swing" competitions. They crossed paths for the first time by the Good Humor Ice Cream truck where they both ordered Sno-Cones. "I like to rock", said Vince. "I like to rock too", said Rachel. At that moment, Zolof the Rock & Roll Destroyer was born. The band started out playing for their families at pool parties and holidays. Vince was the hip-swaying lady swooner with the guitar, and Rachel was the blonde-haired pixie diva with the microphone. Before long, the kids in their neighborhood became such big fans that the band was often asked to play the national anthem before local stick ball games.
It wasn't long before Zolof was sorting through piles of recording contracts. One in particular caught their attention, "Eyeball Records". The cigar-smoking, Armani suit-wearing, sweet-talking fat cats at Eyeball promised the band legions of fans and their own private jet. Who could resist? In fall of 2003 they signed... in their own blood. Eyeball immediately put Zolof in the studio with "Big Time" producer Johnny B. Handsome; a producer so amazing that he could put a microphone in an empty room and still get a gold record out of it. Unfortunately, shortly after recording began, Handsome was arrested and charged with shooting a prostitute in a Vegas motel room...something the label strongly supported but the band felt discouraged by. They decided to hole up in Vince's house and make the record at home...without a "Big Time" producer. "We need a band", said Vince. "I would also like a band", said Rachel. And within a few weeks they compiled a line up of drifters, ex-cons, and fancy showmen.
Greg Kerr, the keyboard player, was a small time hustler at a ski resort, often faking broken legs to woo the sympathy and cash out of well-to-do socialite women. TJ Deblois, the drummer, was a street magician who specialized in making things disappear, primarily peoples hard earned cash. Peter Helmis, the bass player, met the band as soon as he got to shore after swimming all the way from his punctured cell in Alcatraz. He played his first show in his striped prison garb. Together the band recorded "Jalopy Go Far", and has embarked on a world wide arena tour. That is, of course, if you define an arena tour as "One trip to a baseball game for Rachels birthday". They define their ultra infectious style of music as "Spunk Rock" and the world agrees. This band will be the biggest thing since Wonder Bread, and the most wonderous thing since Big Bread. Whatever that means.
