Hairspray movie - (The Legend of) Miss Baltimore Crabs lyrics

rate me

Song by Michelle Pheiffer<br />

VELMA

Front step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and turn.

TRACY

Oh my god, Penny, there's Link, Link! I can't believe I'm really here auditioning!

PENNY

I can't believe I'm really here watching you audition!

VELMA

Fron't step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and, oh, Amber, look at this motly crew! oh

this town has sure gone downhill since I was crowned miss baltimore crabs

AMBER

Uh!

VELMA

Oh, my God how times have changed, this girls must be blind, or completely deranged!

But, times seem to halt when I was Miss Baltimore Crabs.

Amber, that move is far too dirty!

AMBER

Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930!

VELMA

You can laugh, but life's a test!

Don't do this, don't do that!

Remember, Mother knows best!

And the crowns in the vault from

when I won Miss Baltimore Crabs

AMBER

these steps are perfect ammunition.

VELMA

Let me show you how you Mommy dear

took out the competition.

Girls, go get them, boys lets rumba!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,

Those poor runner ups

might still hold some grudges

They padded their cups

But I screwed the judges! those broads thought they'd win if a plate they would spin in their dance..hahaha..not a chance

boys, put me down!

Oh, good morning ladies, lets see what you got!

COUNCIL MEMBERS

Twist, twist, twist, twist, mashed potato, mambo!

VELMA

ready, begin

On my show you'll never find a thrusting hip or bump and grind!

AMBER

Whats that, a dance for flees and tics?

VELMA

Oh, you should have seen my bag of tricks!

Oh I hit the stage

Batons ablaze

While belting Aida

and preparing Souflees!

But that triple somersault

is how I clinched Miss Baltimore Crabs!

(Flashback dream)

VELMA

Proceed.

TAMMY

Are you scared we're on live?

TRACY

No, I'm sure I can cope.

AMBER

Well, this show isn't broadcast in

COUNCIL GIRLS

Cinema scope!

VELMA

I never drink one chocolate malt

no deserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs!

AMBER

This one will never get a date in those hand-me-down clothes!

VELMA

Ha kid, she'll never get a date

till daddy buy her a new nose!

I would say

Oi gevult!

if I wasn't miss Baltimore crabs

AMBER

Do you dance like you dress?

LINK

Amber, theres no need to be cruel

VELMA

would you swim in an integrated pool?

TRACY

I sure would! im all for integration! its the new frontier!

VELMA

Not in Baltimore, it isn't!

and may i be frank

first impressions can be tough

and when i saw you i knew it

if your size weren't enough

your last answer just blew it!

and so my dear

so short and stout

you'll never be in

so were kicking you out!

with your form and your face

oh, it isn't your fault!

you're just down with a case of

Miss Baltimore crabs

uh, you may go

TRACY

Um,Thank you?

PENNY

I think they secretly liked you!

Thanks to Sophia for correcting these lyrics